Being the diary of a schoolgirl, a fair few of the chapters are about the stuff that every schoolgirl around the world goes through. In the first chapter, all of the girls are excited because being in the graduating class (in China, the primary school graduation class is Year 6- 11-12-year-olds) means that they get to have the hot maths teacher 舒老师 (Shu Laoshi or Mr Shu).There's some other chapter in there about picking which desk to sit at, and another chapter about hair that I couldn't understand much of. And, of course, there's a couple of chapters about puberty, including one aptly titled “女孩子的秘密” (Nühaizi de mimi- Girls' Secrets). I'm sure you can guess what that one's about. That's the chapter where I learned useful words like 月经 (Yuèjīng- the proper way to say "menstruation," lit. "monthly event/occurrence") and 那个 (nàge- the informal way to say "period," lit. "that thing," which I think describes periods pretty well).
Apart from that, though, there are a whole bunch of characters dealing with some very realistic issues, mainly related to family and school. 梅小雅 (Mei Xiaoya) lives only with her mum after her parents' divorce. Mei Xiaoya and her mum are relatively poor but do what they can to get by. Eventually they have the opportunity to start their own business. Another character, 莫欣儿 (Mo Xin'er) initially appears to be a happy schoolgirl, but soon that's revealed to only be a façade. Then there's Shu Laoshi, who endeavours to inspire a love of maths in his students but is confronted by an army of Chinese parents who criticise him for not giving number grades and assigning what they deem to be not enough homework.
Among all of the issues discussed in this book, I would have to say that the school issues grabbed my attention the most, possibly due to my Western background. (I'm half white, half Asian, but I've lived all my life in a Western country.) If 女生日记 is anything to go by, even though there are quite a few Tiger Mums in China, there are a few relaxed parents too. I'm going to talk about some of the characters and their key lines here with regards to their views on education.
冉冬阳 (Ran Dongyang) and Family
(I've read 154 pages without knowing what her last name is... I only looked it up just then! As I said, I'm skipping over words I don't know, only looking them up if they occur lots of times.)
Dongyang's family appears to be of the relaxed type- or at least, throughout the course of the first 154 pages of this book, they're quite relaxed. I have a feeling that Dongyang's mum wasn't quite so relaxed in the past, because when she tells Dongyang that she was 18th in her class (out of 48), the first thing Dongyang asks is “你为什么没有骂我？” (Why didn't you scold me?). Dongyang's mum's explanation is representative of her changed attitude. After talking about Dongyang's exam results (100% for maths, 93% for Chinese- to be honest, I'm a bit creeped out by the fact that 17 people managed to top that), she asks “分数不能说明一切，我认为你已经努力了，干吗还要骂你？” (The marks don't tell all, I think that you already work hard, do I still have to scold you?)
Happiness seems to be of most importance to the Ran family- more so than intelligence. In the chapter “烛光晚饭” (Candlelight Dinner), Dongyang asks her father what he wants her to be, prompting the following conversation. (Dialogue does not appear like this in a Chinese novel- it appears very much like in an English novel- but I've used drama/play format for simplicity.)
冬阳： 我。。。 我在想我长大以后，你希望我做一个什么样的羊？ (I... I was thinking that when I grow up, what kind of person do you want me to be?)
爸爸： 做一个快活的人。 (A happy person.)
冬阳： 做一个快活的人？ 你对我的要求是不是太低了？ (A happy person? You have such a low request for me?)
爸爸： 怎么，你觉得做一个快活的人不好吗？ (What, you think that being a happy person isn't good?)
冬阳： 我知道我是一个平凡的女孩，不聪明，不漂亮，也没有什么特别的才华，所以你对我不抱很高的期望。 (I know that I'm an ordinary girl, not clever, not beautiful, and I also don't have any special traits, so you can't hold me to any high wishes.)
爸爸： 你错了，冬阳。 对一个女孩来说，聪明和漂亮并不是最重要的，温柔善良才是女孩子最宝贵的品质。 不聪明，不漂亮的女孩，会因为温柔和善良而变得可爱起来。 冬阳，你就是一个非常可爱的女孩，爸爸爱你，所以希望你快乐，永远快乐，这就是我对你的最高期望。(You're wrong, Dongyang. I say that for girls, intelligence and beauty aren't the most important, gentleness and kindness are the most important qualities of a girl. Girls who aren't beautiful or clever can become lovely because of their gentleness and kindness. Dongyang, you are an extremely lovely girl, Daddy loves you, so I wish that you can be happy, forever happy. This is my highest wish for you.)
Sidenote: 可爱 often means "cute," but according to Google Translate it can also mean "lovely" or "amiable."
Dongyang then goes on to write about how her dad says that being a happy person isn't easy, which Dongyang doesn't completely understand. Her dad explains that she'll slowly begin to understand as she gets older.
I wonder whether Dongyang's inability to understand the idea that happiness is of utmost importance comes from her upbringing in Chinese society. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm being racist or simply too diagnostic by thinking that in the first place. My thoughts on this come from when I learned the Chinese word 理想 (ideals/ambitions). My Chinese tutor told me that Chinese kids are always encouraged to have very big ambitions. She said that good ambitions would include becoming a doctor or lawyer, while you would be laughed at if you said that you wanted to be a farmer. (I must admit that the whole idea of respectable jobs isn't just limited to China- I remember reading something along those lines on a blog of an American woman.) It seemed to me that in Dongyang's mind, simply being happy wouldn't have seemed like a very high-reaching ambition but I think the slow journey to understanding takes place within the course of the novel as well. Actually, I quite like the way Dongyang changes and develops throughout 女生日记 (which I think is essentially a novel about growing up). I could go on about her but I won't. Not at this point, anyway.
赵晓薇 (Zhao Xiaowei) and Family
Argh, Zhao Xiaowei's mum... now she's your Tiger Mum. Zhao Xiaowei and Ran Dongyang started off in the same class, but soon Xiaowei's mum arranged for her to move out of that class because she didn't like Xiaowei's teacher. You see, 罗老师 (Luo Laoshi) had just graduated from Teachers' College and had no teaching experience, and Zhao Xiaowei's mum didn't like the idea of that at all.
Zhao Xiaowei's mum is intent on getting Xiaowei into a good middle school and will do whatever it takes, including coming pretty damn close to bribing the teacher with a really expensive gift on Teachers' Day. The Zhao family bought Xiaowei's teacher an expensive watch costing over 1000 yuan, while the Ran family was happy for Dongyang to just give her teacher a card. Xiaowei insists that you can't get away with just giving a teacher a card when you're in the graduating class, which confused Dongyang greatly. Xiaowei's explanation is that “能不能考重点中学， 全看老师的了。” (Whether or not you can go to a good middle school depends on the teacher.) Dongyang says that she thought that it was based on exam marks, to which Xiaowei says something that I don't understand, but it seems important, so I'll post it here so that any Chinese speakers can help me on this one.
“你真是榆木脑瓜不开窍。” 赵晓威说话的样子跟大人一样， “每个班不是有一个区三好学生的名额吗？ 把这个名额争到了，毕业成绩上加1分呢。”
I understand the bit between the spoken bits, where it says that Zhao Xiaowei is speaking like an adult. But I don't really understand what Zhao Xiaowei's saying, particularly the first bit because I think that's a Chinese expression. For the second part, I can see that there's something about fighting for being in the top 3 and having an extra point added on to the final graduation grade, but I'm not quite sure.
Then Xiaowei says something else. Again, I don't understand the first bit, but I understand the second bit.
“还不是老师的一句话，他们说你行你就行，说你不行你就不行。”I think the first bit is something along the lines of "but doesn't it all come down to what the teacher says." The next bit is "If they say you can, then you can; if they say you can't, then you can't."
The conversation leaves Dongyang feeling sour and cold towards Xiaowei. She writes in her diary that “现在，我更不喜欢她了，我在她身上已看不到一点天真的东西，她不像一个孩子，而像一个老练的小大人。” (Now, I dislike her even more. When I'm with her I can't see a bit of innocence. She's not like a child, but like someone who's practised for a while at being a little adult.)
Now the real fireworks fly when Tiger Mum Mrs Zhao meets up with How-Can-I-Scold-My-Diligent-Daughter Mrs Ran in the chapter titled “情商和智商” (EQ and IQ). Now this is the mother of all conversations/arguments. I could say that conversation represents the conflict between Western and traditional Asian views on education, but maybe that's my racism coming through again. Or is it impossible for me to be racist, given that I'm half Asian and half white? Whatever. This is probably a bit superfluous, but here's the meaty part of the conversation (which is like 90% of the chapter, but whatever).
赵女士： 我今天来是想你取经来了。 (I've come today because I want you to learn something.)
冉女士： 取经？ 取什么经？ (Learn? Learn what?)
赵女士： 是这样的。 你家冬阳和我家晓薇不是都读毕业班了吗？ 你们对冬阳采取了什么有效的措施没有？ (It's like this. Aren't your Dongyang and my Xiaowei both in the graduating year? Haven't you taken any effective strategies with Dongyang?)
冉女士： 没有，还跟以前一样。 还必要采取措施吗？ (No, just doing the same as before. Must we adopt strategies?)
赵女士： 还必要，太有必要了，现在是多么关键的时刻啊！老同学， 你是不是在向我保密？ 我听晓薇说，教师节你们都没给老师送礼，我就在想，是不是你们家冬阳上重点有把握了？ (You must, you really must, now is the crucial time! My old classmate, don't you trust me? I heard Xiaowei say that on Teachers' Day you didn't buy the teacher a present. I'm thinking, is Dongyang guaranteed a place in a good middle school?)
冉冬阳： 阿姨，我们老师不收礼物。 (Auntie, our teacher doesn't accept presents. [Note from me: In Asian cultures, it's polite to call people our parents' age "auntie" and "uncle." I call my mum's friends "auntie" and "uncle" as well.])
赵女士： 这年月已经没有不收礼物的老师了。 (By this time there wouldn't be any teachers not accepting gifts.)
冉冬阳： 我的老师真的不收礼物，你不信，去问问。 (My teacher really doesn't accept gifts. If you don't believe me, go and ask.)
冉女士： 冬阳！ (Dongyang!)
赵女士： 李妹，你给你女儿请家教，上补习班没有？ (Li Mei, do you give your daughter tuition or extra classes? [Note from me: Li Mei is probably not Dongyang's mum's name. I'm guessing that Li is her maiden name. "Mei" means "little sister." I could be wrong, though- perhaps Limei is her name.])
冉女士： 没有。 (No, I haven't.)
赵女士： 做其他书上的习题，作文没有？ (Don't you do extra questions or write extra compositions?)
冉冬阳： 也没有。 (Also no.)
赵女士： 那你怎么安排你在家的时间？ (Then how do you organise your time when you're at home?)
冉冬阳： 做完作业，就做自己想做的事情。 (I do my homework, then I do things that I want to do.)
赵女士： 李妹，没想到你女儿倒是蛮有个性的。 ([I couldn't quite work out what this sentence meant on my own, so I had to use Google Translate to get the gist of it. Google Translate actually gave me something intelligible this time.] Li Mei, I didn't know that your daughter had quite the personality.)
赵晓薇： 冉冬阳， 你明天干什么？ (Ran Dongyang, what are you going to do tomorrow?)
冉冬阳： 梅小雅你还记得吧？ 现在她妈妈开了家小店，她妈妈一直在生病，所以我明天一早要陪小雅到三合堡小食品批发市场去进货。 (Do you still remember Mei Xiaoya? Her mum's opened a family shop, but she's recently fallen ill, so tomorrow I'm going to accompany Mei Xiaoya to the Sanhebao Wholesale Snack Market to stock the shop.)
赵女士： 什么，进货？ (What, stock the shop?)
冉冬阳： 对，去进货。 (Yes, stock the shop.)
赵女士： 就你们两个小姑娘？ (You two young ladies?)
（冬阳点点头。 Dongyang nods her head.)
赵女士： 我说李妹，你怎么能让你女儿这么复杂的地方？而且，小小年纪，进什么货呀？ (I say, Li Mei, how would you allow your daughter to go to such a complicated place? Furthermore, at such a young age， how would they stock the shop?)
冉女士： 现在的孩子生活得太幸福了，让他们早一点体验生活的艰辛，我觉得没什么不好。 (Today the lives of children have become really fortunate, allowing them to experience the hardships of life a little earlier. I do not think that that's a bad thing.)
赵女士： 你有没有搞错哇，李美？ 你女儿正在读毕业班哪！(Haven't you done something wrong, Li Mei? Your daughter is currently in the graduating class!)
冉女士： 建华，你有没有这样的体会，现在的孩子普遍IQ高，EQ低？ (Jianhua, did you know that currently the general IQ of children is high while their EQ is low?)
赵晓薇： 李妹阿姨，什么是IQ，什么是EQ？ (Auntie Li Mei, what's IQ and what's EQ?)
冉女士： IQ是智商，EQ是情商。 现在的孩子都是独生子女， 大多养成了以自我为中心的习惯， 不知道替别人着想，不体谅别人的难处。。。(IQ is Intelligence Quotient, EQ is Emotional Quotient. [Note from me: At this point, Dongyang writes that she still doesn't understand what EQ is, but she understands what IQ is.] Today's children are all single children, and many develop self-centred habits, not knowing how to empathise or understand other people's difficulties...)
赵女士： 李妹，你到底要说什么？ 你别忘了，我不是你热线节目里的听众，我是你的老同学。 (Li Mei, what are you saying? Don't forget, I'm not your audience, I'm your old classmate. [Note from me: Dongyang's mum is an MC.])
冉女士： 对不起。 我是想说，我很庆幸我女儿有梅小雅这么一个朋友，在她们的友情中，使我女儿得到了因为帮助别人而带给她的快乐。 (Sorry. I want to say that I'm very happy that my daughter has a friend like Mei Xiaoya. In their friendship, my daughter will gain that happiness that comes from helping other people. [Note from me: I'm not 100% sure that this is what Dongyang's mum is saying.])
赵女士： 李妹，我还是不明白你在说什么？ (Li Mei, I still don't understand what you're saying.)
冉女士： 简单说吧， 如果在智商和情商之间作选择，我愿意我女儿做一个高情商的人。 (Simply put, if I had to choose between IQ and EQ, I would want my daughter to be a person with a high EQ.)
As Zhao Xiaowei and her mum prepare to leave, Xiaowei then whispers something to Dongyang which I think is quite important. She says, “冬阳，我好羡慕你！” (Dongyang, I really envy you!) I think this one line illustrates a big change in Xiaowei from blindly following her mum's beliefs to believing that there is a better way. Of course, Xiaowei could have wanted the EQ path for herself previously, but was too afraid/ wasn't willing to show it.
That Tiger Mum is such a b****. I mean, she met up with her old classmate who she hadn't seen in 3 years solely to criticise the way she's handling her daughter's education, and then good ol' Tiger Mum ups and leaves when she realises that she can't turn everyone else into Tiger Mums. Gah.
(To be continued)
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